Priorities Priorities...

This Friday I am supposed to showcase my step routine to the club manager and 2 step instructors. Of course Im a little nervous about it but my biggest concern is that this is taking the place of more important priorities in my life right now. Just coming up with one routine has taken me hours and has used up a great amount of physical and mental energy. There is this part of me that says, "I need to do this to prove to people that Im not a complete flake and to prove to myself that I can become something other than a housewife". Why oh why do I seem to continuously go back to thinking that what God has given me isn't enough! Im a homemaker in this job alone I am a wife and a mother who does the job of a full time nanny, housekeeper, cook, accountant and to top it off a teacher. This is what I wanted so why do I seem to chase after other things that really take me away from these responsibilities? I feel so distraught because I dont want to be a quitter or a flake. But the first things need to come first, right?

#1 Spending time with the Lord in His Word and prayer. He is my Creator, Lord and Redeemer. Its through Him that I have life. All that I am should be given over to Him daily.

#2 My Husband. God placed him over me as the head of the home. I want to make a place of rest for him in our home. I want to please him by being a quite sweet submissive wife who loves the Lord and encourages him to stand strong and serve the Lord. This is a work in progress mind you.

To me part of being a good wife is to have a clean home for him to come home to and good meals that keep him strong or meaty I should say:) I do all the shopping, prepare the meals, clean the house, pay the bills, and make sure important things dont go undone such as taxes. This all can be overwhelming as most of you know! Sometimes I want to lay in bed a cry because my mind wont stop thinking of the long list of "things to do". The worst part is, its never done! At the same time I praise God that he has given this to me. Yes I am a little crazy! Im not going to say anything about my husband telling me I don't ever do anything. HA

#3 My children. They are gifts from God! I may not always describe them that way but really its true. Gods Word tells me that I am to teach them His Word all the time. I need to of course care for them in all aspects of life right down to hygiene. I also have chosen to homescool and I by no means am perfect at this. This to me is a huge responsibility and to much on my plate at any time can effect their schooling.

#4 My church along with my brothers and sisters in Christ. This could entail any number of things. Whether its to serve in Sunday School or even to just pray for them. Right now I am participating in a women's bible study on Friday mornings. This is a priority over being a fitness instructor any day. This is an opportunity to spend time in Gods Word together, to study and make yourself more accountable to others. Studying Gods Word is a blessing that cannot be described.

Yeah I could be a step instructor but at what cost. Thats what Im weighing at the moment. Can all these things be covered with enough time left over to choreograph routines every 2 or 3 months. Can my mind handle another thing on my "To do List". Am I making a big deal about nothing? After all my husband thinks I don't do anything:) All I know is Im already tired and worn out (with chin splints) and I really want to make fresh healthy bread. Really my question to myself at this point is, "Am I doing this to bring glory to the Lord, or to me?" The 4 I named above is for the Lord and to his glory.